Thirteen Things I’ve Never, 5th

1. I’ve never been to a MySpace page. Not a single one. I’ve never followed a link there. I’ve never gotten curious. I’ve never had even the smallest curious inkling. Now it’s like a game…checking all the links before I click.
2. I’ve never seen Gone with the Wind, Pulp Fiction, or 2001: A Space Odyssey. Though I did read Gone with the Wind and not for school either; I did it for fun. I also read The Fountainhead, A Separate Peace, The Catcher in the Rye, and 1984 on my own because they weren’t assigned at my private Christian high school.
3. I’ve never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show at a movie theater. I have seen the movie over 100 times but never in a theater. I think it would get on my last nerve to go somewhere and have people talking and shouting over it. I get that it’s an “experience” and all, but seriously, my OCD would totally freak out. Just enjoy the movie for the artwork it is. Don’t judge me.
4. I’ve never fired a gun. I’m a pacifist. While I honestly respect those who serve in the military, spiritually I believe violence only begets violence. Mind you, I have a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do; having been the victim of a mugging as well as living as a single woman in a violent world, I also believe in self-defense. I’m a practical pacifist not a stupid one.
5. I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle. I had a kind of romantic fascination with them in my late teens and early 20’s but I’ve just known too many people who’ve been seriously injured on them to not be afraid of them now. I was badly hurt in a car accident two years ago when I was rear-ended (after a number of car accidents where people had hit my Jeep and I’d never been hurt thanks to the wonderfulness of being in a vehicle larger than everyone else). I can only imagine what it’s like to have nothing between you and the street and the other vehicle when the other vehicle hits you.
6. I’ve never tried illegal drugs. I was scared shitless by those After School Specials growing up. Not to mention that my mother is a nurse; I heard every horror story you could think of. Not only did it never occur to me to try them, but the opportunity actually never came up. No one ever offered or tried to coerce me. I never had to “just say no.”
7. I’ve never gotten a tattoo. I’ve thought about it. It seems kind of permanent. I mean, I change my favorite color every few years, so how am I going to pick a picture to permanently put on my skin that I know I’ll like 50 years from now? Plus, every time I start to get up the courage to do it, I think about my best friend’s brother who in his early 20’s was in the army and came home with a Butthead tattoo’d on his upper arm and all I could think was “What that going to look like when you’re in the nursing home at 90? And are you going to even know who it’s supposed to be?” Eh…in the meantime, I guess I’ll have to be content with those 25¢ machine rub-on tattoos or the occasional henna, when I can find someone who’ll do them.
8. I’ve never shown any of my personal parts at Mardi Gras. Although I lived in New Orleans and the surrounding area most of my life, I never felt the need to flash anyone. Most of the people who do that sort of thing seem to be out-of-towners. In fact, the last 10 or so years I was there, I wasn’t particularly interested in going to Mardi Gras, too many out-of-towners, too many body parts, too much sharing.
9. I’ve never fallen in love with someone who fell in love with me at the same time. Unrequited love is such a painful thing and I’ve hated being on the other side just as much because I’ve always wanted to be able to love those other people back just as much knowing how intensely lonely the hurt is. Perhaps if I examined this closely I might come to the conclusion that this is the biggest influence as to why I don’t care to be married and have given up on even looking for suitable dating material.
10. I’ve never been dumped. In every serious, committed dating relationship I’ve had, I’ve been the dumper. I know that there are some people who will say that I am the lucky one, but I’ve never felt particularly lucky about it. It always has felt incredibly heart-breaking to be in the position to know you aren’t his one and only and have to tell him and hope that despite all of that he’ll still love you enough not to destroy your friendship. Most of them have gone on to find their one and only afterwards, many of which have become my friends too.
11. I’ve never been a cheerleader. I did actually want to be one. I tried out once. However, I was far too short, chubby, geeky, awkward, uncoordinated, and unpopular. I practiced in secret for months and not making the squad was extremely devastating to my young high school self. I was sure it was my route to popularity and boys. Despite my disappointment, I still love cheerleading. I can’t help myself — I must watch Sugar & Spice and Bring It On whenever they are on television.
12. I’ve never played high school sports. I did play elementary school softball and swam on the junior high swim team, however. Here’s a big secret that even my friends from my old stomping grounds probably do not even know: I tried out for high school basketball my Freshman year. I didn’t make the team because I was far too short, chubby, awkward, and uncoordinated and apparently you can’t make up for that in enthusiasm at a school where Homecoming is during basketball season. I was actually fairly good at making baskets if there was no pressure.
13. I’ve never run a 10K. However, I had intended to run the Crescent City Classic while I was living in New Orleans. I did walk it several times and was training to run it, but I never got up to running for a full mile before I started getting sick. Then I moved to Maine. Between the lack of stamina and the fibromyalgia backlash extended exercise gives me, I’ve just never been able to get back into running. I still enjoy Zen walking though — just not 10K walking anymore.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

• Jeremy
• busy
• Nicole Austin
• WhatWorksForMom
• Rae
• L-Squared
• Splash
• Linda
• Holly
• Midas
• Vixen
• erin
• Joely
• Denise Patrick
• Kotabear
• Jenny McB
• Gattina
• Sarah
• tanabata
• Nicholas
• (you could be next!)