Thirteen Things about J. Lynne
- This poor guy accidentally dropped his iPod in the toilet of an airplane and even after he shamefully admitted to his clumsiness, the plane had to make an emergency landing, the passengers were submitted to questioning by customs while the plane was searched for bombs, and he was treated like a terrorist, including having his laptop searched for child porn and hate propaganda by Canadian law enforcement.
- Raed Jarrar, an Arab human rights activist, was prevented from boarding a plane at Kennedy Airport while wearing a T-shirt that read, “We will not be silent” in English and Arabic. One official told him, “Going to an airport with a T-shirt in Arabic script is like going to a bank and wearing a T-shirt that says, ‘I’m a robber.”‘ Jarrar is half-Iraqi and half-Pakastani and now lives in the U.S. The slogan “We will not be silent” has been adopted by opponents of the Iraq war. In the end, he was allowed to board but he had to give up his seat at the front of the plane and sit in the rear because he refused to change the shirt or turn it inside out.
- Six Imans (Muslim leaders) were removed from a US Airways flight after other passengers became suspicious of their behavior prior to boarding the plane. Suffice it to say, you should not be seen praying to God or Allah right before you allow yourself to be thrust into the sky in a tin can.
- Allen Jasson, an anti-war protester, flying between London and Melbourne, had repeated problems with airlines and security denying him access due to his t-shirt that declared President George W. Bush as the World’s #1 Terrorist. In the end, he decided to stand up for free speech, insisting that the airline that left him stranded in Melbourne pay for his trip home dressed in that t-shirt.
- MIT student Star Simpson was arrested at Logan International Airport when she entered wearing a computer circuit board and wiring on her sweatshirt. Authorities called it a fake bomb, but she called it art. If you remember, Boston was the city that over-reacted to that “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” ad campaign and shut down the city. They have no sense of humor there.
- The Portland Jetport’s Baggage Claim had to be shut down for six hours and the hazardous materials team called out when a white powder was discovered on a luggage carousel. It turned out to be sugar cookie mix.
- Architect Seth Stein was returning from a nice vacation where he’d managed to get a nice tan, something many of us aspire to on vacation, little did he know that his tan, combined with his need to use the airplane toilet and use of an iPod added up to suspicious behavior in the minds of some of his fellow passengers. To his horror, one over-zealous passenger, who claimed to be a police officer, actually assaulted him, grabbing him from behind and putting him in a head lockStein was furious that the airline staff did nothing to help him or protect him from the attack; it was only after the assaulter was told that the pilot had run a security check on Mr. Stein and that he was O.K. that the stranger reluctantly returned to his own seat. As a vacationer who uses her iPod on the plane and frequently needs to visit the airplane toilet, I’m going to really work at not making it look suspicious at all. Though I’m not sure how exactly to do that.
- In August of 2006, everything about airport security changed. We were told that terrorists planned to use liquid components to build bombs to explode planes. Immediately and without warning, airport security began confiscating anything remotely liquid — water bottles, coffee, wine, soda, baby formula, medication, liquid make-up, lipstick, gel bras, hair gel, and so on. Airport security couldn’t even be bothered to pretend the danger was truly serious or real; they tossed all of the potentially volatile liquids into the same trashcan right there next to everyone in the security line. Had there been true concern of chemical danger, surely some care would have been taken to dispose of the items safely. Instead, each airport created its own toxic waste concoction, wasted $100s or perhaps $1000s of paying customers hard-earned money on items they either needed or at least wanted, and created massive chaos and huge time-wasting lines in a big pretend show of how we’re being made more secure.
- Bernice “Bea” Bogart, an 83 year old breast cancer survivor and wheelchair-bound since 1999, suffered from dementia due to a stroke she had in 2004; she had a doctor’s note saying she had a metal hip replacement and she couldn’t stand without a cane or walker. Really, who could suspect this little old woman of anything wicked? However, the Denver International Airport TSA staff thought differently. They forced her daughter to sit across the room and watch as they brought the woman into a special screening area, made her stand and walk, lifted her arms after she couldn’t do so herself and searched her. Her daughter wondered if they thought Bea had a bomb in her Depends.
- Don’t even joke about bombs in the airport or on an airplane. No one thinks it’s funny. One Lebanese man jokingly told the stewardess that his bag had a bomb in it when she tried to stow it, she told the pilot, who decided to return to the airport, where the plane was searched and the man was arrested.
- Don’t get into a cat fight on board a moving plane. This plane had to be diverted to JFK because of an altercation between three women. Really, all that does is make that flight late and probably upsets the precarious balance of incoming and outgoing flights too.
- Don’t leave your things on the plane when you leave. This Air Canada plane had to make an emergency landing when they discovered a package that didn’t belong to anyone on board. It turned out to be harmless, but you never know. It might have been exploding hair gel.
- The three t-shirts I won’t be wearing on my flight to New Mexico tomorrow:
- “I am the bad guy”
- “I am a photographer, not a terrorist”
- The one with the U.S. Constitution printed on the front and in big red stamped letters across it “VOID where prohibited by law”
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
They took the baby formula? Is that legal? Do planes stock stuff to feed infants?
YummY!’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #12
This list makes me want to cry. What on earth is this country coming to? Great TT!
Chris’s last blog post..By: pussreboots
I had such mixed feelings about this. I am a liberal. I am appalled. And yet…and yet…I’m ALREADY terrified of flying and have NO sense of humor while in the air. Maybe I’D jump a guy who was doing weird things with his I-POD (or his shoe). He could be blond and blue-eyed; I don’t care. Plenty of crazies around.
I do feel sorry for the poor I-POD guy, but a bomb in the toilet and a bomb not in the toilet come to the same thing.
It’s horrible that a few baddies have tarred so many with their same brush.
Damozel’s last blog post..Alvin & the Chipmunks, 21st Century Style: It’s On It’s On It’s On
I don’t blame them for arresting the bomb joker in #10. By now we should all know that such jokes are a criminal offense. But as for the rest, the world has become absolutely hysterical.
Nicholas’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #37
What Nicholas said.
I travel internationally often, and the utter idiocy of it all is overwhelming at times. Israeli security, with its deservedly excellent reputation, had the common sense to realize that a silly little Swiss Army card is no threat whatsoever and passed it through without a word any number of times. Italian security otoh confiscated it “because I was traveling to Israel and they are quite strict there”. Sigh…
Robin’s last blog post..TT - Favorite Pizza Toppings
Flying/security is like russian roulette. I have walked onto planes at Heathrow with no security at all, yet every time I go through tiny Inverness airport I am flagged for searching.
I have no sympathy for anyone joking about bombs/etc. or with little enough self control that they end up fighting, but the rest just makes me sad.
Linda R. Moore’s last blog post..Acts of kindness