The Good With The Bad

I’m having an incredibly bad fibro day. The pain started yesterday evening and just kept increasing until everything hurt. I do mean everything. Even my butt cheek muscles seem to be screaming out in pain. Last night I couldn’t even pet my poor dog because just the task of lifting up my arm to make the petting motion was agony.

And I didn’t sleep well at all last night. The Flexeril didn’t appear to do any muscle relaxing and the Melatonin didn’t make me sleepy enough to be able to sleep through the pain. I couldn’t find a comfortable position because everywhere hurt and no matter which way I tried to lay on the bed, this or that limb or muscle group complained angrily.

So, I’m cranky today and I don’t feel like being on a diet or sticking to my 12oz of caffeine or drinking 24oz of water.

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Water Aerobics & FlyLady

My friend NG and I managed to find a community pool that has a water aerobics class on Tuesday and Thursday nights. You don’t have to commit to anything; you just show up on the nights you want to participate with your money which is like $2.50 for seniors, $3.50 for residents, and $4.25 for non-residents (me). My only problems with it are that because it’s from 6:30 - 7:30pm, I have to eat dinner as well as lunch in town those two days and I don’t get home until around 8pm and by the time I walk the dog and get the cats fed (my neighbor is kindly feeding Pugly in the afternoon), it feels like the day is over and it’s time for bed.

Going through all of that last night, made me realize that whileI secretly took Neca’s advice about checking out FlyLady.net, I am failing at the project. I tried creating a kind of Control Journal and writing out morning, afternoon, and bedtime routines and wrote out a chore schedule for the week. I thought that would be a good start and decided to wait on the whole Zone cleaning thing for a bit until I got into the groove.

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Big Butts & Accomplishments

I guess you could tell I’ve been a little out of sorts for the last week. I’ve actually been mulling over some grumpiness since my last therapy visit on the 4th. I went to my session feeling kind of proud of myself for everything I’d accomplished since the last session about a month before when I’d basically decided that I wasn’t going to let my depression “define” me. I had come to the conclusion around that time that my depression was reinforcing itself and I wanted to put a stop to that.

And I feel as if I’ve come a long way…or at least a way. I’ve been making a constant effort to clean my house, something that never seems to be done and never seems to be close to done and seems to be more like one step forward two steps back. (I still can’t figure out how my living room got so messy since I was only awake in it for about 2 hours yesterday and don’t recall doing anything in those 2 hours. It was clean on Sunday. And how does one person make so many dirty dishes and so much dirty clothes?)

And I had signed up for a couple of classes/lectures — one on Seasonal Affective Disorder and a six-week thing for people with chronic illnesses. I was very excited about the prospect of getting Pugly into the next training class and eventually agility training.

Really, except for my frustration with the fibro pain and my problems with communication with my GP and the Rheumatologist, I was in a fairly good mood overall as far as the direction I was heading. I thought I was making good progress and I was ready for my pat on the back and some support and sympathy for the communication issues.

Clearly, that’s not what happened.

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Feeling Accomplished

When I left work on Thursday, knowing that I had to take a vacation day on Friday to wait for the cable repair guy (who by the way didn’t show up until Saturday), I made a deal with myself. I made an intensive to-do list and told myself that I wasn’t getting a slouch day just because I wasn’t going to work; plus I promised myself that if I got everything on the list done this weekend, I would buy myself a brand new 30G iPod — something I’ve been wanting but couldn’t justify buying myself.

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Lobbing Lemons

Someone once told me that when life sends you lemons, lob them right back.

It’s been an incredibly frustrating and stressful week.

Sunday for about 3 hours or so, my cable and thus internet was out. Because I am on-call for my job, I require the use of the internet at a moment’s notice to be able to dial into the computers at my workplace so I can fix the problem. It actually is an emergency when such a thing occurs and it affects people’s lives. I take it quite seriously. When I talked to their support people then, they said that it was an area thing or rather that someone else in my area was having a problem too and that they were sending someone out to fix it. It was fixed that afternoon.

Monday morning when I woke up, there was no cable or internet. I called again. They said they’d send someone out. I have no idea if they did because there was a huge electrical storm across the state that afternoon and that’s when all kinds of weirdness started at work. When I got home, there was not cable or internet and the message on the support line said that my town was experiencing outages.

Tuesday morning when I woke up, there was no cable or internet, but there was no more message on the support line, so I talked to the support people again and they said they’d send someone out.

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