Thirteen Discombobulated Thoughts About Thanksgiving, 19th

Thirteen Things about J. Lynne Remember when The Wizard of Oz was traditionally shown the night of Thanksgiving? The first Thanksgiving I spent on my own, I ate a meal prepared by Piccadilly Cafeteria and watched the whole first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the first time I realized I enjoyed spending most of Thanksgiving on my own. My mother and I disagree on who makes the best Thanksgiving Turkey, but she currently holds the title by default since my kidney disease diagnosis has forced me to become a pescetarian and thus I am having Tofurkey for Thanksgiving this year. Previously, my traditional Thanksgiving meal when I am hostess has been Roast Turkey Breast with Apple Gravy, Cran-Apple Sweet Potato Bake, steamed green beans with almonds, cranberry sauce, salad, pumpkin pie, and upside down apple pie. The key to a perfect turkey is a clay turkey baker with clay top. No basting is necessary. The clay top will cause the turkey to continually baste itself. Today I’m having a roast tofurkey with roasted butternut squash, carrots, and mushrooms with vegetarian stuffing, cranberry dumplings, feaux giblet gravy, steamed green beans with almonds, pumpkin pie, and apple pie. The roast tofurkey is actually pretty good; I think it tastes a lot like turkey and has a good texture. I wish I could find feaux chicken breasts like that. Oh, and by the way, though George Washington tried to create Thanksgiving during his presidency, it was my favorite president, Lincoln, who made it a federal holiday in 1863. Every year since I moved from New Orleans, I always miss PW on Thanksgiving, having become accustomed to spending it with her; I think it’s very sweet that her in-laws in England make a big deal and celebrate Thanksgiving for her. Still I miss sharing the meal with her. For many years, I was forced to make and bring homemade mac & cheese to Thanksgiving because apparently I made it best. Everyone was always asking for my recipe. You will not find a copy of said recipe in my house or on any webpage I own now. I do not like homemade mac & cheese and thus have conveniently “forgotten” the recipe. I’ve never understood the popularity of the green bean casserole either. When I was a child, my mother always made us dress up for Thanksgiving dinner and sometimes we had to have dinner in courses. Today, I’m having dinner in my PJs. Special Thanks to… damozel, Tina Kubala, Linda R. Moore, nicholas, Robin (you could be next!)

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Thirteen Things About My Pug, 18th

We always had a family dog while I was growing up, but he was never just my dog, especially when my great grandmother moved in while I was in high school and she literally stole the love of the family dog by bribing him with food and treats. When I moved out on my own, I had cats, because I always felt that cats were better suited to apartment life. Dogs, I feel, need yards to play in.

So that’s how I came to have two beautiful but insane cats. I love them, but it’s clear that their fondness for me revolves around the food and water dishes and the cleanliness of the litter pan. There’s definitely qualifiers and if I fail to meet them, there’s 4 a.m. cat torture techniques.

Last year, before I bought my house, I could wait no more. For my 35th birthday, the cats gave me a little Pug puppy. I don’t think the cats are too happy with their choice of present. Oh, well. There is just something about a puppy who bonds with you with unquestioning love. He’s my baby, my best friend, and I spoil him rotten because he brings me endless hours of amusement and enjoyment.

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Thirteen Reasons My Mother Thinks I’m The Queen Of Unlucky Fliers, 16th

I used to be terrified of flying. They used to have to pump me up with tranquilizers to get me on the airplane. Just the very thought of being in a tin can flinging itself all of those miles above the ground seemed very wrong to me. My mother used to say that if God had meant for us to wear pierced earrings, he would have made sure we’d been born with holes in our ears; well, I figured with the same logic that if God had meant for us to fly through the air like birds, then he would have made sure we were born with wings or jet packs or something similar.

However, for some bizarre reason, all of that changed after 9/11. Whereas more people developed phobias of flying, I have overcome mine. I believe it’s because the airport experience has become a thousand times more stressful since 9/11. I’m way too stressed out dealing with everything involved with the actual travel experience to worry about crashing and dying a fiery death now. However, since 9/11, I have had a series of very unfortunate experiences traveling, which has caused many of my family and friends to feel that I am unlucky to travel with. My mother herself considers me the unluckiest of fliers.

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Thirteen Superstitions, 15th

Well, since this is the Thursday before Halloween, I decided to at least go with the theme. I thought this was going to be an easy one since I knew I had The Encyclopedia of Superstitions sitting on my shelf amongst my writing reference books. I thought I’d just be able to pick and choose a few to write about and I’d be done in one rerun of Friends. I should have known I’d get caught up reading and picking and choosing all sorts of odd tidbits. I should have known that it would take me over two and a half hours and that my two cats (one of which is black, by the way) and my Pug would be frustrated by the neglect which I now need to make up for with salmon-flavored bribes. Anyway, I learned some cool stuff, I hope you do as well.

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Thirteen Possibly Obscure Facts About Abraham Lincoln, 14th

I’ve often said that President Abraham Lincoln is one of my heroes. That’s not really always a popular choice for a Southerner, where some people still consider him a war criminal. (True to my Southern roots, I also think Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis were incredibly great men too — Hey, I’ve read my history.)

However, my admiration of Lincoln comes from a deeper place. A feeling that he was a truly special man because, clearly from what historians can piece together he suffered from some sort of mental illness, probably a severe form of depression, which I can relate too; yet, in the most traumatic, chaotic crisis our country has ever faced, he was a strong leader, often labeled the greatest President in the history in United States history, and he did what was needed to keep the country together because he thought it was the right thing to do.

I admit, I’ve been doing some “reading” (via audiobook) and some Internet research lately trying to separate the man from the overblown demi-god myth. I’ve discovered some interesting facts about Lincoln and I’ve decided to share them as this week’s Thursday Thirteen.

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Thirteen Television Shows Worth Setting My DVR For, 13th

I don’t actually watch television during the week much anymore. I’m just busy with work, water aerobics, health classes, puppy potty walks, chores, stuff I want to do, sleep, and so on. Basically I record whatever sounds interesting to me and watch it on the weekend, which means I’m usually avoiding any blog posts with chatter about whatever happened on any of my favorite shows by people who just had to watch it the second it aired. What’s with that?

Anyway, here are the only thirteen shows that are worthy enough for me to have set my DVR to record. Anything else I watch is by accident.

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Thirteen Suggestions For The Sisterhood, 12th

This week’s Thursday Thirteen list was inspired by something I read that rubbed my personal feminist sensibilities the wrong way last week. It got me thinking about what kind of advice I would give to other women, particularly younger women, about what I thought they should know to have a good life. I suppose each of us could write our own list like this based on our own experiences, something we’d want to pass on to our sisters, our daughters, our friends, our hopes for the future. I wonder what would be different or the same on other women’s lists or even what might be on a father’s list.

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Thirteen Ways To Lose A Pound A Week, 11th

In honor of the first week-aversary of starting my new “diet” - er - weight loss plan -er - healthy eating lifestyle or whatever the politically correct term is this year and in memory of the one pound I lost and hopefully will never find again, I’ve decided to do this week’s Thursday Thirteen on ways to shed a pound a week.

Many of you don’t know this but in another alias, I used to be a weight loss guru; so while I may have put on a few pounds, I actually do know what I’m talking about and I do know how to misplace the unwanted weight. I dedicated plenty of time and money educating myself on the very intricate details and the practical knowledge of it all. Listen to me, my friends, and I will show you the way.

First thing you should know is that a pound is the equivalent of 3500 calories; so you just have to cut 500 calories a day to lose a pound a week. Medical professionals recommend that you lose no more than ½ to 2 pounds a week for a healthy weight loss program. Any quicker than that and you risk doing damage to important body things you might want later.

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Thirteen Discombobulated Thoughts, 10th

Thirteen Things about J. Lynne I really hate that new Domino’s Pizza commercial for the Oreo Dessert Pizza where the guy has a growing Oreo bits beard and the teen boy wishes his Oreo mustache was a full as the guy’s. I mean, I think it is gag-reflex disgusting. It makes me want to change the channel. I’m sure that’s not the intention. Am I the only one who finds the timing of this latest O.J. crime spree just a little bit too coincidental? I mean, wasn’t it just last week that the media was all discussing that book he’s not getting any money from where he talks about how he “might have killed” Nichole and Ron? Now all of a sudden the attention is back on him. It just seems weird to me. Am I the only one who thinks that Nicole Kidman’s last movie The Invasion was just another remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers? I mean, I didn’t see it, but from the previews that’s what it looked like to me — something from space, people being taken over, “don’t go to sleep” warnings. Yet I never heard anyone compare it to the Body Snatcher movie when it was being reviewed. I managed to catch Torchwood on BBC America on Saturday night and I can’t decide whether I like it or not. It’s kind of X-Files meets Ultraviolet but with some sort of sillier edge. I do like the fact that the British aren’t as hung up on appearances for their actors and actresses as Americans are. The female lead is not a skinny-minny and she doesn’t have perfect teeth, which is extremely refreshing. Why are there no organizing books/articles/sites written by single people for single people? Everything I read always recommends you get your husband and kids involved and that you should delegate chores. There has to be a single neat-freak out there who wants to share her techniques to those of us who don’t know what we’re doing and don’t have underage slaves to do it for us. My goal for this week is to keep my kitchen clean. I have been succeeding by not cooking or doing anything in the kitchen. I think the key to a clean house may be to not live there. This morning the song on my iPod radio alarm was “Bang the Drum All Day” so what I heard was “I don’t want to work; I want to bang on the drum all day; I don’t want to play; I just want to bang on the drum all day” and it seemed to just keep doing that chorus over and over. Not an inspiring song to get out of bed to actually. Why can’t I find a pill sorter big enough to actually hold the number of pills I take each day? Clearly the manufacturer of pill sorters do not take into account the fact that some pills are larger than pencil erasers these days and that some of us have to take a handful in the A.M. and only a few in the P.M. or at night. Every pill sorter I can find is tiny. Most of them can hold 2-4 pills at most per compartment. If you are only taking 2-4 pills at a time, you don’t need a sorter. Right now I’m using two mini-Tupperware containers that can hold 1½oz to carry my morning and evening doses in my purse; they’re about 2 to 3 times too large, but at least they hold everything. Has everyone checked out the “quote of the day” and “recommended reading” features on the right side of my home page? Feel free to send me quotes or links to interesting posts through my contact form. I love collecting good quotes and I love reading a variety of things and sharing when I find something irresistible. Why don’t they make computer paper that is 8.5″ x 5.5″ so I can use it in my DayRunner organizer? One of my friends has a reoccurring role on FOX’s K-Ville as supporting staff; so I’m going to tell folks to watch it even though it could use some writing help. However, I was quite pleased with the fact that they actually used the correct term for the neutral ground. I spent most of the pilot looking at the background and feeling homesick. Now I want some seafood gumbo. My mother has mailed me a package and won’t tell me what’s in it. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Maggie amypalko Jenn Vixen ellen b Qtpies7 Malcolm jennifer Buck Naked Politics Nancy Bond Lulu bernie Nicholas Linda R. Moore (you could be next!)

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Thirteen Of My Favorite Photos I Snapped, 9th

Thirteen Things about J. Lynne Portland Head Light Lighthouse Peekaboo Shine A Light Separation Anxiety I Never Walk Alone Clean A Wish Is A Dream Your Heart Makes Don’t Adjust Your Monitor Like The Song Says, It’s Too Damn Hot Sheep White Zinnias in Sepia Faded Blankets Pugly in a tight spot Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Lara Damozel Nancy Bond Robin Believer in Balance jennifer Lulu vigilant20 Vixen David Buck Naked Politics Southern Girl jeanjeanie Mama Pajama Nicholas (you could be next!)

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